7 Simple Tips to Save Your Failing Relationship
Published by: When You Sill Love Someone / How to get your X back
Full article here:
https://whenyoustilllovesomeone.com/8-tips-to-save-a-failing-relationship/
Sometimes it's easy to sense that
your relationship is in trouble. You can sense when your relationship is in
trouble. Maybe you have been fighting a lot and are not finding a satisfying
solution. Don't despair if you are facing the possibility that your
relationship will end.
You don't have to give up just
because you are in trouble. There is almost always a way to rebuild if you love
your partner deeply and are committed to making it work. If you and your
partner want to make things work, this is how to save your relationship.
1. Do
not make rash decisions
Many people find themselves in a
difficult place in their relationships. A bad fight, an unspoken sex-disorder,
or a terrible transgression. They then start to look for ways out. It's not
giving up too quickly, out of fear, frustration or laziness. Many couples can
overcome their problems if they are willing to work together.
"Absent any abuse --substance,
alcohol physical, verbal- I think we have much to learn by staying and trying
make things work. Jessa Zimmerman, a certified sex therapist as well as a
couples' counselor, tells mbg that we will carry any unresolved problems or
work into our next relationships. If you are still unhappy and have dealt with
the problem, it may be time for you to end the relationship. Avoid making
sudden or rash decisions during difficult times.
2. Be
brutally honest
Do not try to repair your
relationship by yourself. If your partner isn't involved, get them involved.
Talk to them about your concerns and let them know you are considering whether
the relationship could work. You don't have to threaten your partner with a
split, but it is important that they understand the seriousness of these
issues.
"Don't try to be a blindsider,
especially if they haven't shared your concerns before. Zimmerman suggests
giving them the chance to make a change. "Be kind, but completely honest.
This is the moment when you have nothing to lose.
3.
Therapy is available.
Seek professional assistance!
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. Margaret Paul, Ph.D., another couple's counselor, stresses
the importance of getting an outside perspective. This is someone who has
experienced helping couples out of the same pitfalls they fall into. Paul
recommends that you go alone even if your partner is resistant to therapy.
Although it's best to attend together, the insights can be invaluable
regardless.
Avoid falling for the trap of
blaming. While you can be angry at your partner's actions, you should also take
the time to reflect on how you contributed to the negative energy and other
problems that you are experiencing.
Most people know what their partner
does to cause problems but are not sure what it is doing. You take yourself
with, which means you will bring with you any unhealed patterns that contribute
to the problem into your next relationship.
If the problem is less about
something either of you is doing to that hurts the other and more about a
difference in views or lifestyle, you should both acknowledge this
difference--respectfully and without resentment--and consider whether a
compromise is reasonable or achievable.
5.
Concentrate on your own healing.
This is not about recognizing your
contribution to the relationship's problems. Recognizing your inner work is
key.
Paul states that many people who
leave are not happier than they were during the relationship. If you're making
your partner responsible and blaming them for your unhappy feelings, it may be
time to move on. You can do your inner work.
Many of the problems we face in our
lives are directly connected to deeper mental or emotional issues that we have
had to deal with. Paul states: "If your feelings are ignored, judged,
turned to different addictions to numb them, or made your partner responsible
for your feelings worthiness and safety, you are abandoning yourself. You need
to work on your inner self to learn to love yourself." People treat us as
we treat ourselves. So, focus on how you treat yourself and not how your
partner treats you.
You need to be more compassionate
with yourself during this difficult time. What can you do now to show more
self-love?
6.
Recognize the pain of your partner.
It is easy to get caught up in the
trap of dwelling on your relationship and getting caught up with your emotions.
But Shula Melamed M.A., MPH, relationship coach, stresses the importance of
looking at things from the perspective of your partner. There are many people
who are struggling right now. The person you love the most is going through
something extremely difficult right now. Is there a way you can show up and be
there?
Melamed states that turning toward
your partner and acknowledging their pain can help you get out of the
"attack-defend" mode that so many people engage in. It is important
to remember that you are all on the same team, and that the only thing you want
is for the relationship's success. If someone wins an argument, it means that
they are a winner. Is that what you want?
7.
Take some time to reflect on the positive.
When you are trying to repair your
relationship, don't forget to stop focusing on the negative and to reflect on
the positive. What are your most treasured memories of each other? What are
some things that bring you joy? Zimmerman suggests that you don't talk about
the hard stuff all the time. Instead, try to have fun and enjoy some
lightheartedness.
She says, "Tap into why you got
together in first place--access this love--but know that you can't
return." To bring your relationship to a better place, you must commit to
a process together.
They were once good. They can be
great again. It might not look the same as before, but it could be even more
beautiful.
More often, say "thank you!"
Do not roll your eyes! It's easy for
a relationship to feel strained and to lose sight of all the positive things
that your partner brings to you, despite the tensions. A simple and easy way to
ensure you are focusing on the positive is to express gratitude to your partner
every day.
"Instead of taking for granted
the things that your partner does on a daily basis to make your life together
easier, better, run more efficiently--acknowledge and thank them," Melamed
says. This will increase your ability to appreciate each other and help you see
the many ways you can collaborate. You may be inspired to do more for each other
because of the positive feedback.
When your partner does something
kind, say "thank you" loudly. You can express your gratitude to your
partner for their hard work, the coffee they made you, the time they took to
pick up the children after school, and the kiss on the cheek you gave them
before you head out. Small acts of affection and words of appreciation can help
to revive the positive energy within your relationship.
These tips will help you to work
with your partner. You can get through this difficult season with patience,
understanding, compassion, and generosity. Keep in mind: Spring is on the other
side.
